Tuesday, October 28, 2014

The truth about motherhood

Picture perfect motherhood is unlikely. I used to dream about all the things I would be able to do once my second was born and I was home full time with her and my toddler. All the extra time I would get to spend time with them, clean and cook and still have time for myself and to work on this very blog. I was wrong, so very wrong.
I dedicate about twelve hours to my toddler of fighting, begging, pleading, and sometimes even just staring at her when she does things I just can't wrap my head around. When she's finally calmed down, my newborn wakes up for a feeding, change of diaper, or because she's slept her quota for the time being.
I've learned a lot in this last month of being a mommy of two and I am going to share it. IT NEEDS TO BE SHARED.

Don't be hard on yourself.
Seriously, don't be. If you are doing the best you can, then that's what you're doing. There is no sense in beating yourself up about things not going as planned. Everyday I wake up with a plan and most days it goes right out the window before I can actually think it completely through.

Take a breather.
This is the number one thing I tell my partner on a daily basis. Mental health is imperative. Seriously. When you are flipping like you've lost your mind, your children will mimic that attitude. Be the person you want your children to admire and look up to and in order to do that, you've got to have your emotions in order to deal with these little people.

Never let the negativity seep through.
You know, the elders that know the best, the mother of four versus  you the mother of one or two. They tell you about how you have no clue what you are in for. How motherhood affects you is something you should experience and decide for yourself. That mother of four may not be as organized as you are. Maybe she isn't great at time managing but that's not for you to judge either. Which takes me to the next order of business.

Stop judging each other.
Stop hating on each other. Motherhood is tough. Juggling kids, home, life, work and relationships with your partners or friends. That's a lot! Encourage your fellow mothers, be considerate, helpful even. If you know a mother in need of a break, help her out! Watch her kids for a couple of hours if you can, give her the breather she needs and I'm sure when the time comes she'll be glad to help you out too.
Most importantly, have fun.
Children are carefree. You do all the worrying for them, but it's not a bad idea to let loose sometimes. Be silly with them. Enjoy them while they are screaming their heads off for a missing Lego or the yellow shirt they didn't want to wear because the green one was better. Make the best out of all these things that may be interrupting your parenting plan. Being a parent doesn't mean you have to be the bad guy all the time, it's good to be the best friend to your little girl or boy because it will make your life a whole lot easier. They will come to you with any and everything. Best friends forever, remember?

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