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Monday, January 5, 2015

Take a Minute

Let’s call Mondays, Mommy Mondays and for Dads too.

When I decided to become a stay at home mom, it was actually a tough decision. Some people say “Oh wow! How lucky you are to be able to stay home and be with your kids 24/7.” It’s not exactly what people think it is and a lot of times it’s not like the movies.

When my first was born, I went back to work literally five weeks after having her, in fear of losing my job. I almost did the same thing with my second when I realized, I just can’t do this anymore. I struggled a lot with Dana (my first) It’s like I didn't even know my own child. She spent so much time with my parents and I spent so much time working and trying to go to school in a race to “catch up” to everyone that I actually ended up tired and worn out and messed up a lot in school because I just couldn't some days. I really couldn't muster up the energy and focus to be there.

Some days I do feel overwhelmed being home. I realized only recently that I cannot eat, sleep and breathe everything children related because at the end of the day I am an adult, I’m human and I’m not going to give up on my dreams to be one of those crazy regretful moms that screams at their kids about how her life came to a complete halt because she had them.

Quite frankly, I live more because I am a mom.
That’s why I take a minute. Sometimes a minute is needed. I’m only now learning to establish routines and sometimes it’s hard and it's a battle. Some days I can’t believe I am really in a power struggle with a three year old! But I am, and reality is, I sort of caused that. So I try not to come down on her and myself.

Here are a few things I do or don’t do:
  1. When I hear them stirring in their sleep, I get up, make my coffee and drink it before I don’t get the chance to.
  2. When I can’t make the bed, I just don’t. SO WHAT? Listen I’m no Martha Stewart. And I’m not going to say excuse the mess.
  3. When my kids are napping or having quiet time, I get on the computer and do leisurely things instead of cleaning. I’m serious- I can ignore the chaos around me for my own personal sanity.
  4. I don’t even battle with Dana anymore, I just don’t. I won’t sit around arguing and I won’t frustrate myself even further.
  5. I read my emails, respond to messages, follow back twitter users, and read articles all while feeding my little one (Ava) her bottle. I know sometimes it’s important to gaze in their eyes and bond BUT LISTEN...sometimes it’s a busy life.

But most of all, I don’t beat myself up. I’m a good mom because I worry and I worry because I care and I care because these are my children and they mean the world to me.

Love Always,
Christina

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