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Sunday, October 4, 2015

How to say no...when you aren't that kind of parent.



I'm the I can't say no, she's a kid, I don't want to be harsh parent! Or at least I used to be.

My oldest always tries to get one over on me because frankly she thinks I'm a sucker. Sometimes I can be, I mean who doesn't want to give their kid everything possible in the world?


Here are some tips that have helped me learn to say no:

1. Set rewards: For instance, if you eat all of your dinner without making me chase you, we can spend some extra time drawing together. See, what I did there? I got her to eat ALL of her dinner and she DRAWS which she likes but its better than her being glued to a tablet or TV for 1/2 hour more. AND I get to spend some one-on-one time with her while drawing silly pictures. This is also technically not saying NO but really providing an alternative to no. 

2. Do they deserve it?: Has your kid been acting like he/she has no reason to listen to you? Mine does it from time to time. She wants to play the power struggle/how much can I get away with game and I used to throw in the towel all the time until I realized I'm turning her into a monster (Quite literally) because she starts to think she can do it with EVERYONE. Eventually I started to use a very quiet but stern tone and explain to her what she was doing and why she wasn't getting what she wanted. I suggest telling them in the most uncomplicated way, so they understand I am not getting playtime because I threw "x" across the table at dinner.

3. Just say NO!: And stick with it. Don't let up, don't compromise. Don't discuss other options with them. If you said no and meant it the first time, there would be no reason for you to go back on that. You have to stick to your decisions so they stick to theirs. Kids eventually get the idea, no's become easier on both of you.



Just remember, whatever works for you is what's important!

ღ Christina


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